DARTSIM™The Institute for Quarterback Outcomes · The Rookie Wing🏛️ THE INSTITUTE
THE INSTITUTE FOR QUARTERBACK OUTCOMES · ROOKIE STUDIES DIVISION · SUBJECT: EXTREMELY SUBJECT
DARTSIM
The Institute's newest facility studies its youngest subject: a rookie quarterback with
elite arm talent, immaculate vibes, and a boat. He holds rallies. He headbutts his
running back, consensually, at speed. He plays perfect football while losing by exactly
thirty. His coach's headset is haunted. The vibes survive everything. That is the finding.
100% UNOFFICIALVIBES: IMMACULATE (CLINICALLY)POLLING: 100% (SAMPLE: HIS OWN RALLY)BOAT: EMOTIONALLY TOTALEDTHE DEFICIT: 30 (A CONSTANT)
The Exhibits
FIVE EXPERIMENTS · ONE ROOKIE · ZERO HESITATION
Rookie File
DEPT. OF ROOKIE STUDIES · UPDATES AS YOU PLAY
Rally approval
100%
Margin of error: 0%. Sample: see methodology. Methodology: don't.
Mystery cans
0
Contents: unknown. Effects: confidence, throttle.
Boat incidents
0
The lake authority knows the boat by name now.
Clean headbutts
0
Thoughts recorded during: zero. Combined. Both players.
Perfect games lost by 30
0
Greatness, quarantined. Rookie of the Week, automatic.
Leads choked (co-op)
0
Your decisions: correct. Your decisions executed: zero.
Reviews
FROM THE RALLY, THE LAKE, AND THE LEAGUE OFFICE
★★★★★
Best rally I've ever attended. I attend all of them. I am at one right now.
— Rally attendee №1 of 100% of rally attendees
★★★★★
TREMENDOUS website. I built it. Many people are saying this.
— The Gold-Haired Businessman (uninvited, unverified, undeterred)
★★★★★
He headbutted me forty times and I have never felt more alive. Ready for more. Always ready for more.
— №44 (via a nod)
★☆☆☆☆
The boat had so much potential.
— The Lake Authority (fond, exhausted)
★★★★★
I was on the boat when it crashed and I would board it again tomorrow. My hat survived. I'm having a wonderful time.